This is the year that I turned the dreaded 3-0. I may not be an expert on this thing called life but I feel that in my thirty years I may have picked up a lesson learned or two along the way.
One of my biggest revelations? It's OK to let your friends go!
Let me start by saying that I am the type of person who literally cannot stand for anyone to be upset with them. I feel physically sick, I lose sleep, and I stress and dwell on it for months at a time. I go out of my way, sometimes bending over backwards, to make sure people are happy with me. (This is something that I am still working on!)
Some of my friends, I have been friends with since Kindergarten. We all have that friend that we go six months or longer without talking to and when we do it's like no time ever passed between us. We also have that friend that we text constantly all day every day. We have work friends, we have mom friends, we have our "going out" friends and we have our "sister friends" (the ones that feel more like family than friends).
But I have lost a couple of very close friends of mine over the years. So you can imagine the heartache I felt. Not just anyone being upset with me but a friend!?!? For years I dwelt on this. What went wrong? What could I have done differently? Should I have done more? It took me thirty years to finally realize that... IT IS OK!
I am not the same person I was five years ago. Heck, I'm not even the same person I was yesterday! We all grow different directions over time. Some people are growing families, others are pursuing careers or enjoying the time while finding themselves. Though things may have not ended as I hoped, I have good memories with all of my friends. Nights out at the bar when we were young and dumb, weddings, and even babies. They were all in my life at that particular time for a reason, and I am grateful for that. It used to hurt me to look at old pictures of us having fun together but now I can look at them and smile because I remember how fun that particular memory was. Without these friends I would not have these memories and I would not be who I am today.
With each phase in our life there are always new friends to be made; friends that are put in our lives when we need them or when they need us.
To my friends who are no longer my friends, I think of you often. To my friends that have stuck by my side through thick and thin, I love you and to all of my friends; past, present and future, I thank you.